MS Awareness

I like my life, most days love it! But I don't wish parts of it on anyone.

A few weeks ago I took my friend out for dinner, she asked to meet at 6pm. Which also happens to be a reasonable time for dinner. However at 4:30 while I as at home I really wished she had said lets do dinner at 5:00 or even 4:30. But not as I have been told MULTIPLE times most normal people eat dinner later than 5:00pm. I went to dinner, once I got out of the house it was fine, had a lovely dinner celebrating her birthday.

After I cam home I puttered around my house until I took a shower, felt EXHAUSTED and crawled in to bed, glanced up at the clock which read 9:08pm. It took me a few seconds for the shock to dissipate for me to realize that it wasn't actually 11:30pm or even later. No, it was NINE. How could I possibly be this tired, I likely hadn't done much that day either. Why then did I feel so awful.
To add to this situation this was probably one of the 5 times I had left my house after 6pm for at least a year, likely longer, apart from going to work for night shifts.

Toady is the beginning of May, which also in Canada is Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month. I guess when I think about it, I'm not sure what I want people to know about MS. But I do know I want people to know that it exists and I want people to understand that even though most of us look pretty healthy, its not what it appears. I don't want people to feel sorry for me, I just want people to know what its like. To not have feeling in your right hand, to have your legs tingle at random times, have your hands feel like they are on fire. I wish I could explain fatigue in a way that EVERYONE would understand, where it feels like you haven't slept for days when you wake up after 11 hours of sleep. What it does to your confidence in life, how it makes you feel about your future. How scared it makes you when you have hard days and can't bring yourself to leave the house. How sick it makes you feel when you have this dream in life to do amazing things but just cannot pull yourself together enough to accomplish them.

Over the month I do want to talk about some of these things, if some of my other plans work out, which I had been working on for MONTHS, but seem to have hit a glitch. Some of these plans will also talk about and help explain different symptoms and maybe give a little more insight to what it is like to live with this chronic disease called Multiple Sclerosis.