Some Good Things....

....and some not so fun things.

To be honest, I am not even sure what to say about this past week. So much has happened....so I might as well start at the beginning.


Last week I started my HIGH dose of steroids to help combat my increasing MS symptoms. Three days of the second highest dose of steroid you can get. I am only in there for an hour a day. But man are they quite the drug. Thankfully nothing like the last time that I had them, but still not a fun drug to take. (Trust me there are fun drugs out there to take and that is not one of them.) Day 1,2,3 were ok. I felt kind of gross on the last day from it. Then day 4/5 came around and I woke up on Monday morning and I had felt like I was gotten hit by bus. My face was all puffy from the drugs, even my eyes which was a new one for me. But I felt so gross, I went to my first class and by 1130 I was exhausted. Tuesday I woke up and felt like I had gotten hit just by a small car or something. But was alright.

However, my arm did look like this. This past week I have at 8 pokes from IV's and my regular medications.

Well I have learned a few things this week about myself and other things....and in no particular order.

1. Cab drivers in London, England are much more polite. They will come open the door for you, help you with your bags and give you a "Hello, how are you?" In Vancouver....not so much

2.  I love mud. But I think you knew that already. I also really love adventures. Last weekend Christie, Anna and I had an adventure.

3. My brain still shuts off at 1:00 like clockwork.

4. Oh, I like tea. I didn't know it could be good until a few weeks ago. However it also makes my body warm so its a give and take thing and I have enough heat going on with MS tea doesn't always help.

5. I really like the beach. Yesterday my family came and met me at UBC and took me into Vancouver we went for supper and then walked along the beach. It was beautiful and I just love watching the sailboats and huge freighters passing by.

6. I am really looking forward to having October done school wise I mean.

7. I also think I've decided my second favourite season is fall. Brings back so many good memories. Like playing in leaves at old abandoned houses, triking up on Tabor Mountain and playing with bear spray, playing along the river when I was little and like 2 weeks ago. I love the smell of fall. I really like the temperature at night. I love the way that the trees look all yellow, orange and wonderful. Good memories associated with fall. Hopefully more to be made this one too.

8. I love drugs that help me sleep. Last night I had a great sleep. Today I got a prescription for something that should help too. I probably shouldn't be quite so excited but I am. Sleep is important.

9. I really appreciate friends who pray for me. I got two messages this week tell me that they were praying for me, or if there was anything they could pray for. It made me really happy.

10. I also really appreciate having friends who also have MS. Not that I wish it on anyone, but I am glad to have friends who really truly get it. One of them I spend most of the day with today. She is great. Not that either of us were feeling all that perky it was nice to see her.

I am ready to go home. It has been a long tow days. Treatment days are long and tiring. But soon, just waiting for my flight.

Thanks for reading. :)

Here for an update on my hospital visits and what is going on with that... HOSPITAL VISIT_DAY337


Kate

My Hero

Today is September 17, a great day in my books because today is a day worth celebrating, there is a boy in my life worth celebrating. He is wonderful. This boy can always put a smile on my face...we have had good times, we have had bad times, but I love him none the less. This boy is known in my head as my 'Lil Hero.

Yesterday I was asked how I 'do it', how does it seem that I pull everything together in my life, she asked me how I was able to go through all of last year and still be on top of it. I told her a bunch of things...but I forgot to tell her one of the most important things...my 'Lil Hero.

He was one of the reasons that I did so well. He was the reason I didn't get down, that I didn't give up, that I didn't let life or MS win. He is the reason that I won't give up.

But today is a day to celebrate HIM, he is amazing. This not so little guy is 16, star setter for his volleyball team, last year the basketball team, and track team. This is a guy who is able to see the positive in life, he is a friend that everyone should have, he will stand up for you when your troubled, he will make you laugh when you need it, and cry when your least expecting it.

I love this boy, I love him with all my heart.
Today is his 2 year anniversary of being cancer free, today 2 years ago he had his last treatment.


This guy, is my 'Lil Hero.

Keep it up, keep going strong and being a great encouragement to me SJ. I love you.


-Kate

I Decided Today....

I decided today, as I was grocery shopping... I was on a mission, I was looking for vegetables, I wanted to make stir fry. I bought the sauce for it the other day and today was the day. 

I also co-wrote a paper today.. spend 5 hours on a Saturday sitting up at the uni in a quite perfect spot mind you writing a paper. I did have fun... However, today I decided....as I walked into the giant fridge, if I could live in a fridge I just might.

I can't quite believe that it has only been a week since school has started, so much has happened if I didn't think about it very hard I could fool myself into thinking that it has been at LEAST a month, or more.

Classes started on Monday and Tuesday. Then I have clinical 2 or 3 days of the rest of the week. I have 2 speciality areas, Gerontology (working with the elderly) and Mental Health. We do clinical practicum for 6 weeks at a time. It is going to be a busy semester, long, full of work, papers, midterms, assignments etc. However I am also trying and doing my best to stay on top of things.

This week I also went to the gym a few times this week.. and also went extremely blind. But I don't mean blind as in I can't see anything its more like a combination of these three pictures along the side. Its's not a dangerous thing, but it is just irritating.

I also caught up with the MS nurse this week. I had gone to see her to ask a few questions about my eyes and fatigue, but as I was sitting waiting for her my hands were hurting too much and I figured I would rather cry not in front of her office so I went home. A few days later my uncle and her found me on my clinical day and we talked. She saw my neurologist the night before at a presentation. They had talked a wee bit about me. They figured that I maybe should try steroids again.

 Oh, I haven't talked about my steroid experience have I? Well last time I took them, it is a 3 day experience, 1hr day trip to the hospital. I cannot say that these are my favourite thing. And no I'm not going to get jacked on them, bummer right? It does however make me feel terrible for 6/7 days, awful metallic taste, achy bones, nauseous, I get extremely anxious, irritable and wired. Last time my aunt thought a movie would be a good idea after my treatment... we got half way through it and the female actress was driving me NUTS! I was pacing back and forth in the living room, shaking a little bit. I couldn't handle the rest of the movie so I just went to bed.

So this time I am hoping that things will be better, I know what to expect now, how to get rid of the taste, etc. So this Thursday, Friday and probably Saturday I will spend at least an hour or so attached to my IV pole not feeling great.

I would love to say that I haven't had a tear sesh yet this year, but I have... granted it was only 3 or 4 tears and my friend thought I was faking it... which at first I was, but it was tears that had been coming for that whole day. It was a combination of missing clinical for dr. appointment, my eyes, the pain in my hands, the anticipation of school and all of the work. But it quickly passed and I snapped back into it and my friend made fun of me. 

What I did get from that fridge.
My supper!

But this whole story is why, I decided that living in a fridge, or at least for a little while...it felt really nice to be in such a cool place. It made my hand feel great, my body wasn't freaking out. It was really nice. So as i walked out of the fridge I decided that it would be sweet to live in a fridge... at least for a few minutes. :)

I really appreciate all you guys who read this, it means a lot. I do get excited to see the numbers on the side go up as days go on...I love hearing my mom tell me that her friends are looking for a blog update and want more specific prayer requests. Which I will update today.. there are a few. :)
But thank you again, I really appreciate the support and the encouragement that those of you give me.
I will continue to update my blog and prayer requests a little more often if I can. When I am not writing a paper or planning a presentation or studying for a midterm. 

My brain break...playing in the mud.

I hope you guys have a great day. 

Kate

September 5_A Year Ago

A year ago today I was sitting in Vancouver in the UBC MS clinic and the neurologist confirmed the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. It was scary but relieving at the same time. It was nice to finally have a name to all of my strange symptoms. But also scary because I knew very little about MS and what it would and could do to me in the future....Since then I have been reassured and been well taken care of through different doctors, nurses, family and friends. It has been a crazy year as some of you may know.. but a good one none the less.

Wow, I cannot believe it has been a year, to be honest it feels like it has been way longer. Then on the other hand it feels like it has just flown by.

Hmm... as I look at this year ahead of me I am scared, which is better than where I was at a week and a half ago, I was just plain terrified for this year to start. I have never been scared/terrified for school before, but I could feel it start to creep in when my hands started to hurt when I thought about it. Along with school I was not looking forward to being back in Prince George. Some of my really close girl friends have moved from PG, granted I got one back this year. But I still wasn't feeling like I wanted to be here and was quite dreading this year.

As I was sitting in church this Sunday I was getting a little distracted from the sermon and pulled out my notebook and started writing down how I was feeling, "worried, scared, irritated etc" and then I was talking to God about how I wanted to feel content with Prince George. I didn't want to be looking for something else, something 'better', but I wanted to feel happy (or joyful) here.

 However I also was thinking how hard it was to be joyful, when I was so tired, so drained and just didn't want to work hard to find the joy in things. I for a wee bit was ok with just giving up... It was at that moment that I looked up from my notebook and on the side it was titled "Joyful and Thankful Heart". Kind of a slap in the face moment...
It also went on to say "have an attitude of joy and gratitude in all aspects of our lives."

It was a feeling of "Oh yeah, this is what I've been telling myself all year, I can't give up now." It brought me back to one of the nights at camp where I shared my story at teen camp and I must have said it a dozen times, to count it all joy when you are tired, worn, frustrated, irritated etc. I know its not easy, but in the end it is worth it... that much I know for sure!

So looking at this year again, through eyes that well, sometimes work... I will take it one day at a time. I will do my best to find joy in the little things, or why not, even the big things :) I will work on being thankful and living with a heart of gratitude.

Am I still scared? Yes, I'm terrified and would love for that to change. I would love for the pain to stop and the numbness to go away, I want to be able to see again when I exercise, I don't want to give myself injections, I am irritated about those things... but I try to be only for a moment and then I remember that life is bigger than me, God is bigger than my MS and I know He has a plan for me.

I know this year is going to be hard, but I am hoping that it is another great learning experience. I know I have a great group of people who are coming along side of me and encouraging me and who have faith in me to do well.

I am excited to be able to look back at this year next year and see how much I've grown, or failed... who knows, but there will be something learned from this next bit in my life.


A year ago today, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis....everything changed.


Kate

Only Memories Now...

Looking back at this summer, even though it has just ended less than a week ago I think I could say that this has been one of the best summers I've ever had. I was working at Echo Lake Bible Camp and I get an overwhelming feeling of happiness when I think about how great this year has finished for me. Five months ago I'm not sure I was able to see how wonderful this summer could really be. I was too drained from everything this year: school, exams, quizzes, practicums, relationships...I was wiped.

However, I did go in to the summer with excitement and was ready for something different and new. I was ready to meet new friends, build relationships, and grow in my own personal life. All of which I did.

I distinctly remember sitting with some of the other staff members within the first week of camp and talking about how great the staff seemed and how lovely the camp director and his wife were. I was really excited and the staff at Echo Lake were wonderful. I loved watching them grow as the summer progressed.

One thing I loved about this summer was the surprises. Ok, ask me 6 months ago how I feel about surprises and I would tell you I dislike them immensely. For the most part was tired of having new things. I was ready for the old. So much of me wanted to go back to my high school self where I was confident in who I was, what I was doing, my friends, and my health. My world was 'good'. I would think that for a spilt second and then realize how much I had changed in the last year and how much I had learned about myself, my friends and my future. I do hesitate to say 'I wouldn't take it back for the world,' but I don't think I would trade all of this learning for an easy, 'same old' life style I was living.

But back to surprises:

1.  One thing I loved happened on one of the first nights. I gave a bit of my story/testimony/how God has been woking in my life. Afterwards, one of the girl leaders came up to me and gave me a huge hug and thanked me for telling my story. It was unexpected but warmed my heart

2.  Another surprise was a new friend I made. I didn't really know this person before I came out, but only knew of them. They were (and still are) older than me but I felt intimidated by them. However it was  great getting to know them better this summer and I feel like after camp that I would definitely call them my friend. I made lots of new friends this summer (not that it surprises me) and it makes me happy to know that there are people out there who want to be friends with me too... that it's not just a one way relationship.

3.  I was also surprised with my health. Every week we as a staff wrote down our prayer requests and then  picked someone else's from a hat and we prayed for them that week. Every week I wrote down "pray for good health!" Every time I chuckled too, because according to my diagnosis I do have MS which wouldn't be considered good health.. but that wasn't what I meant. I didn't want to get even more sick over the summer. And I did not. No cold, no flu, not a thing. It was great.

4.  Another surprise I got near the end of the summer when a friend from high school, whom I love dearly officially confirmed that she was moving to Prince George for the year. This was one of the greatest surprises of the summer. Many of my friends from town have moved away, or are new friends who live in other towns, so to know my good friend is going to be here for the whole year gives me great joy.


                   ___________________________________________________________



Overall some highlights for me were:
-taking pictures and making videos for the kids every week. 

-spending the weekend in PG with some lovely girls form Northern Ireland

-picnicking with chinese food, laughing and hanging out way too late that night

-staff break to Terrace and Smithers

-going hiking, riding chair lifts, pancake breakfast in the middle of town, camping

-going on hikes and being able to see clearly on one of the hottest days of the summer, despite having MS!
-hiking up Mt. Pope  with lovely ladies--good bant! 

-hiking down was alright as well, my body was just falling apart (not MS 
issues) and there was a lack of encouragement... I am pretty sure all I heard was "Pain in just weakness leaving the body Kate."

-spending time on the floating dock with a good friend

-kayaking on the lake and down the Nechako River

-have a drive in--at camp, then sleeping outside

-spray painting the ROCK....hmmm

-having mud fights 

-I would say having the 'hottest wings ever', but I actually just watched other people eat them. 

-driving; I did a lot of driving this summer, I really enjoyed every minute of it. Whether it was with people, or on my own. Pumping music in my car while I am alone is still one of my top fav 5 things to do these days
-climbing under a table at dinner to coax a little boy out to come eat supper, we talked about kittens and puppies and eventually he camp out. All the while at the feet of the camp director, program director and a few others

-spending two free times belaying campers (made me really miss being a cabin leader, but made my week)
-rooming with my 'bestie' all summer

-chatting with people who came through my office

-spending an afternoon on the trampoline one weekend with some lovely kiddies playing 'Ring Around the Rosie'


-making a new friend on the big pillow at the start of summer, talking about camp, life, school, boys

-feeling like I was an important piece of something bigger than myself

-having people around me who would tease me about my MS (which I do encourage  I do it and don't worry I wont cry) "How many fingers Kate?" "Need to go to Spec Savers?" And more.. but those were the most commonly used phrases. 


Thank you so much for your thoughts and your prayers for me this summer.. it is greatly appreciated. I hope you all had a great summer as well.



Have a good night.

-Kate