Bucket List

Well, I've been thinking, of which I tend to do a lot of these days. But I find I do even more thinking after I have some great conversations with my good friends. Yesterday I had some good conversation with a good friend. Which well.. I think left her thinking maybe more than I did. But I won't elaborate on her thoughts,  just on mine.

First, I have come to really appreciate reflection times on decisions, illnesses, school, life, camp etc. I love being able to talk about these things and have logical thoughts about them. (Vague, yes I know.. but thats ok)

Secondly, there are many things that I am excited about that are coming up that I know about and things that I do not know about, but want to do.
I don't think I have ever officially made a bucket list... but I've always liked the idea of them. I think the problem is for me is that when I get to actually writing these "hopes and dream' down it either seems silly, or I just never have a big enough list to actually make it worth it.

1. See the Northern Lights in a grand fashion--
I have seen them once. I was on the out skirts of town with some friends and on our way back into town this is what we saw. However one day I will see them again...hopefully.

2. Take a StarTrail picture.

3. Go to South Korea-- My great aunt once worked in a hospital in South Korea; I would love to go back and work in that hospital

4. Visit/work in the orphanage that my other great aunt worked founded and worked at in India

5. Become a RN

6. Work on a MercyShip-- a portable hospital that gives healthcare to those who are not able to get the care they need. I would love to be able to give my skills as a nurse to those who need it.

7. Go back to the UK, spend more time in London and also visit friends in NorthernIreland

8. See someone be healed from an illness; wheather it be me or someone else. I would love that!

9. Get married

10. Sleep outside one night (camping) at least once during every season. This would come down to sleeping outside at least 4 times a year.  {this idea comes from a long time ago when my friend and I decided we would do this once a night throughout the year-the coldest -22}


This list will grow, this list will change and I will complete some things but I will have a great time doing it!

Kate

Here we go again.

Dad went kayaking...? 

Slingshot for Christmas

Christmas was nice. I went down to Vancouver and stayed with my parents for a few weeks. It was good to spend time with them. We went to Seattle for a few days which is not really a city I am dying to go back to. Too many cars, too much walking, too much blah. Nothing really stood out to me there and my feet hurt a lot. Which was because of how much walking to different shopping centres that my mother and sister wanted to go to. Super fun :/
But it was good all in all being down south, but I am glad to be home. Well sort of....

Let me tell you about my last week. :D
Firstly...School only started last Monday, it was the longest week ever! And not all in a bad way, but let me tell you about it.

This all started on Wednesday with an email from someone from my uni telling me that I had an outstanding form about my flu vaccine. So I went on a complete which hunt trying to find it... I called at least a dozen people trying to find it, I started at home, went to the health unit, to the hospital, up to the university talked to 3 more people.. finally, 8 hours later I finally had someone to help me.. but at that point it would've been easier to just get another flu shot. Which is what I did in the end, the next morning. Literally I found that form 30 minutes later. Oops.. but really, another flu shot couldn't hurt me  and my already weak immune system.

In the middle of all of this I could not remember where my stethoscope, name tag and student id card was. So on Thursday I cleaned my room, like ALL of it.. and the drawers and camp stuff that i left in my closet. I eventually found it under a pile on my bed, the stethoscope at least.  But my room looked great!

Friday, I just puttered around and read some stuff for school work. I am talking 3 courses this semester.. two of which are online.. Which I don't mind too much. The way the instructors are doing them is nice. And clinical is good too.. paediatrics.
So on Saturday I had orientation. for my peds rotation... started at 7 didn't end until 5:30-6ish. It was only supposed to be a 6.25hour day and only started the math part of it at 4:30. I almost cried when my instructor told us the quiz would take about an hour but we didn't really have time so we could take it home and bring it in at 6:30am the next morning. He, in the end gave us the week to finish it.. but it was all ok.
Sunday, clinical, it was great. I LOVE paediatrics compared to mental health. My instructor was fantastic as well which makes things even better.
Monday, I couldn't find my student id anywhere.. I check cars, pockets, my wallet.. found it in the back of my closet in a bag I hadn't used since last week.. shocker.

Yikes.. it has been nuts. I was telling my friend this whole week today and she looked at me all concerned and said, "You know, you can cry right now if you'd like."
It was kind of weird, that thought hadn't even crossed my mind all week.. not really sure why, but it didn't. Maybe I'm just growing up, or my memory is gone along with all of my tears. :)
However I have also discovered it takes a bit to get me to cry these days.. it happened once last semester about 2 weeks into classes. Nothing since.. well a few tears while I was watching "Eight Below"--that movie about the dog sledding dogs that get left behind in Antarctica. That brought a few tears to my eyes. haha. Made me laugh when I caught it.

But it has been a good semester so far.. kind of nuts but ok.

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Hmmm... I know its a process... but it comes in waves.. along with everything else that goes on in my life, I have found that I don't talk much about how MS has really affected my life. I mean most days when someone asks me how I am I will tell them I am tired. But there are more feelings hidden down there. I summed it up nicely over Christmas when my dad suggested that we go to the gym and play 2-on-2 with my brother and sister. My response with humour was "Dad, I don't think either of them want an out of shape blind, disabled girl on their team." He thought it was kind of funny, which it was.. but true. It SUCKS that I can't play sports anymore like I used to. That moment quickly passed and I got over it.

But tonight I was wearing a pair of shorts that I usually wore for volleyball a few years ago, thinking about how things were then, when people would call me up to go toss around a volleyball, or shoot hoops... that doesn't happen anymore. Even if it did I would want to say the same thing I said to my dad, "I don't think you want a blind setter on your team do ya?" Reminds me of a whole different life. One that I miss. I know there are so many great things going for me now.. but I miss those times.  

I also don't think I will fully understand the implications that MS plays in my life. It will come when I want to teach my kids to play volleyball, play badminton in the backyard, go for hikes with them, shoot hoops even. I won't be able to share those moments with my kids the way my parents did with me. It breaks my heart now.. but will break it even more when it actually happens. I know there will be other things, that are good that will happen with my future.. but there are a few times where I don't know what I will do when these moments happen.

Sorry, enough of being sad, because right now I really am not at all. Just thinking.... I am stoked for this semester to be over.. because I have big plans for summer, which one day I will reveal to you.. providing it all works out the way i hope it does.

Thanks guys for reading.

Love,

Kate