Head Above the Clouds

October 2015

I love that we live in a world with mountains. One of my favourite flights lately has been flying from Fort Nelson to Vancouver. Being able to see the northern Rockies for the majority of the flight. Here are my thoughts from this trip!

I haven't ever been much of a hiker. But I LOVE the idea. I love exploring. But I hate not being able to breathe. I have all of these intentions of going for more hikes and to get better at it. But so far that hasn't happened. So for now I will admire mountains from the base or  flying over them.

One thing I love about them is how it puts you in your place. When standing at the base of a mounting. Mt. Robson for instance. Standing at the sign on your way to Jasper. Feeling so small, insignificant and and sense of placement. How you and I are just a blip, a piece of history that will be forgotten. But these mountains stay. Their appearance might change over seasons or years. But they will forever be there in the same place for the rest of history. It's not so much a depressing thought for me as it is a realization that life is precious and that we aren't here for a very long time and I need to make the most of it.




Then, I fly over mountain ranges. See the snow covered peaks with thoughts of invincibly running through my mind. About how amazing it would be to summit them. Seeing them from 27,000 feet makes it seem like it would be a piece of cake.

I love the where the mountains take me in my mind. Two opposite emotions; insignificant and invincible.

Both of which are incorrect. Lessons I have been constantly learning and struggling with on a daily basis recently.
I am not insignificant. I am valuable. I have a place in this particular blip of time. I, most days especially at work feel overwhelmed, exhausted and like a nuisance with constant questions to anyone who might know the answer. Not only with work but my own personal views of myself and how I feel about my MS, my body, my brain. Constantly fighting with myself about who I am and where I belong


At times I almost feel invincible. Like I could do anything I wanted. I then feel like I am quickly reminded that I am not.
Death. Death quickly makes me realize, firstly how we are not invincible. Secondly how valuable life is. How quickly a life can be taken from someone.

I am slowly realizing that I need to find a happy medium between these two points or

emotions in my life. I am brought to the reality quite easily when I realize I'm not invincible.
But it takes a while to remind myself of the truths that I am not insignificant. That I have a place. That I matter. That my own self worth isn't and should never be based on what someone thinks of me. Learning to gain the confidence and self awareness to give myself a little more credit.

And know that no matter what happens life just keeps going (flowing) so you might as well enjoy it! 

On to Three Years...

When I think about it, it doesn't seem like it could possibly be three years ago. It doesn't seem like a long amount of time, three years. But when I think about all of the things I have done and accomplished in the last three years it blows my mind.

Where I was emotionally, physically, mentally has changed so much. I was such a child, young, more naive (not denying that I am still naive), terrified of what the future would bring, wondering what life was going to be from that point on.

I wouldn't say that I still get terrified of what is to come or could happen. But I feel that I approach things differently. I am learning to be proud of my accomplishments and attempt to take my failures gracefully.

But yes, as of September 5, 2015 I have had MS for 3 years.

I am sure lots of things have changed in your life in the last 3 years, but let me give you some of my highlights from this last year at least. Cause reading is sometimes boring. And today I don't want to bore you!

HIGHLIGHTS

If you know me you know how much I LOVE playing in the mud! I also love sucking my friends into this mess! 

Spent a beautiful evening at a rotating restaurant in Vancouver with my dad last fall 2014. On one of my trips to Vancouver for treatment

I LOVE fall. I also LOVE my rubber boots. 

Enjoyed showing Lil' Annie my dads new skateboard. Its called a OneWheel. 

 

I HATE mice. I hate it even more when when they are running through my house and in my bed. That was not great experience. 

Our families little girl passed away tis year. She was a great little cuddlier. Lucy.

Last Reading Break I found the most amazing waterfall outside of Mission. Cascade Falls. 

We won bearded toques! Best way to end our Reading Break. 

Spent a lot of time studying this year. Writing papers. And spending way too much money at Starbucks.

Love exploring with Anna! 

Spent a lot of time swimming this year. Invested in a waterproof Mp3 player. Game changer!

Joined an intermural soccer team. We had a ton of fun. Don't think we won any games and I really coudn't acutally see for most of the games. But it was fun! 

Camping trip to Jasper and the Kootneys as a "Finally Done Nursing" Trip. With my one and only Christie Pudlas!

I LOVE staying out late, taking pictures of stars and spending time with friends. 

GRADUATION!! I can't actually quite believe that I made it through nursing. 

 

I see where I get this face from. 

Got a gig volunteering at a dog sled kennel. She is one of my favourites. 

And she grew so fast! 

An old friend from PG was up here and stopped by the kennels. 

 

MUD MUD MUD!! I found an AWESOME spot up here! LOVE it. 

Jimbo caught a nice Pickerel. Couldn't hang on to it and it slipped out of his hands after this pic. 

He loved coming out to the kennels with me!

Puppies. Puppies. Puppies. 

So cool to be able to work along side a world champion dog sledder! 

Taking the dogs for a run all harnessed up. They run in front of hte ATV until it snows. 

I kinda really like it at the kennels. 

Did a beautiful hike to a place called Flower Springs. 

North of Fort Nelson. Summit Lake. 4200 feet. There is snow there right now  :(

North Tetsa River

Most amazing Northern Lights I have seen at this point in my life! I cannot wait for more. 

Andy Bailey Lake. Camping trip with some friends. 

Liard Hot Springs with a bunch of goons!

Liard Hot Springs. A must do!

Can't wait to check them out during the winter!

Lovely friends who came to visit me and my roommate in Fort Nelson!

Liard Hot Springs.

Fort Nelson: "I don't like it..."

I love it. I so far have loved my time up in Fort Nelson so far. 

Some of you may be wondering why. Even people here have wondered why I came up here in the first place and that I am ok with staying! 

But I have made friends, explored, gone fishing, made lots of four legged friends, worked, picked up shifts, hung out by the river, in the river, more fishing. Today has been the first day in last month since i've been here where I have thought to myself, "Hmm, what should I do today?" It was raining, which made it harder to think of things to do. So I crashed at my friends house and showed them their newborn pictures I took the other day. Stole some of their internet because my house doesn't have any yet. Watched the Calgary Stampede, played with their dog. Went for a run, made dinner for me and my roommate. 

SO what have I been doing? Well, work has taken up at least a few days a week. It can be a crazy busy hospital which can be a little tiring. Always with the interesting cases that come through the ER, loss of fingers, arterial bleeds, "infected" bug bites (oh goodness), motorbike crashes, and so much more. 

Before I moved up here, since I was little I have always wanted two things in life if and when I moved to a northern community: learn how to dog sled and own a pair of moccasins, real ones. So I decided to do something about it, since I have officially moved to a northern community. First, moccasins will be purchased one day in the future, when I feel like i have money to do so. Second, there is a world class dog sledder in town named Buddy Streeper. If you know dog sledding, you will know this name. He has won multiple world class races and travels all over northern Canada and throughout the states during the winter. 

 So about two weeks ago I decided to send him an email telling him that I was new to town, an RN and have always wanted to learn how to dog sled. So I asked if I could volunteer in exchange to learn how to dog sled. He replied quickly and said he was very interested. So I decided to drop by his kennels and introduce myself. So I showed up and he toured me around the grounds and showed me hte male and female kennels, the puppy kennels and told me that most of the jobs have been taken care of there. However the one job that wasn't really taken care of was someone to play with the puppies. Puppies need lots of socializing when they are little to human contact. So he said that I could come by anytime for as long as I wanted to play and socialize with the puppies. It is seriously as awesome as it sounds. There are probably at least 25-30 puppies that need love and attention. 

So between work, hanging out at home, going on adventures either alone or with my friends and their dogs and playing with puppies I am doing alright. So far I have really enjoyed being up here!